Mashing Mallows: The Lush Jungle Trial

Anticipating a grass trial, I started putting together my team of lawnmowers.  I was surprised at how strong my team is against the "grass" type.  This should be a cinch.

Battle Squad 5: Hedge-Trimmers

Despite the fact that I always choose water, I never really ever manifest a weakness to the grass type. Partly this is because I love the poison type (I have three separate poison pokemon on my team already in Grimer, Salandit, and Mareanie).  I suppose the other "part" would be how much I love birds.

I like to play this game with people I meet where I bait them into asking me what my top five favorite animals are.  I suppose I derive some sick pleasure in forcing conversations to follow the paths that are most convenient to me.  As it were, those five are the Crimson Shrike, the Toucan, the Cardinal, the Bone Vulture, and the Pangolin.  Four of those are birds.  I have issues.

"What's that, Sport?! Timmy's in the well again?"

I met Captain Mallow with my two poison pokemon and my two birds and set to completing her task.  I was to find four herbal ingredients in the jungle by using Stoutland to sniff them out.  I found the tiny mushroom easily.  When I picked it, I was attacked by a disturbingly gangly pokemon called Shiinotic, which may be based on the shititake mushroom.  I find it kind of funny how these trials are all about doing things other than battling--and then battling anyways.

Along the way, I fought plenty of the pokemon Fomantis, and sadly no Vitreebel.  I always envisioned Victreebel to go really well with Jungles, so this was a legitimate hole in my world view.

Thanks Obama.

I've found that I really like using these small teams for the trials.  It makes the experience really personal.  It's about you and your four mates.  Counting on your pokemon--making sure that they stay healthy.  I guess this is what being a real pokemon trainer would feel like.  Right now I'm on a safari in a jungle teeming with life and I'm having a personal adventure with Sludj, Ori-chan, Sassy Sally, and Pip Pip.

"God damn it, Sludj, stop dying on me!"

After recovering the final ingredient, I regrouped with Mallow at the entrance to the jungle.  Lana and Kiawe were both there for the grand finale where we would summon the totem pokemon with the herbal cooking--but not before Mallow came on to the three of us in the weirdest way possible: pleading with me to pound the ingredients with my stiff bone (Editor's note: the "rare bone" is, indeed, an item in the pokemon series, but the author has left this information decidedly ambiguous for the purposes of comedy and because he's an asshole in general).
_______________
THIS SPACE RESERVED FOR SEX PUNS

Uhm, I know she likes Grass pokemon, but a little bit of a trim on that underbrush might help us both out...

Sigh...if I must...

_________________
Ultimately, though...

Would this five-star recipe turn out to be a recipe for disaster?!

Tune in next time to find out!!