Let's all go to Ula'Ula Island!

"Has anyone been noticing that President Lusamine has been acting a little weirdly these days? ...no? ...Just me? ...okay." -Aether Foundation worker, probably

So I guess we're going to just ignore that strangely poignant diabolical laugh?  And the suspicious explosion that lead to the reality-warping supercreature that just entered our timeline too?

Okay, onward to Ula'Ula Island!
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Our wonderful hosts at the Aether Foundation whodefinitelyarethegoodguysmaybe sent us off with gifts: food for Hau and the TM Psychic for me.  Please make up your own jokes for this instance, I've been concentrating on setting myself up for a "Let's all go to Ula'Ula Island" gag later on in this blog post.

When we landed in Malie City, a town that takes a lot of its architectural cues from the Johto region, Hau healed my pokemon and challenged me to battle.  Since our last match, he has evolved his Pikachu into a nifty Alola Raichu and his Eevee into a Leafeon.  His Torracat...well that just stayed as a Torracat.  Raichu was tough, but the rest of his pokemon were outclassed by my trademarked strategy of "Toxic-Protect-Repeat".  I'm forever in fear of the day when I will have to battle someone straight up.

From there, I had a meeting with Professor Kukui in the rest area of the Koi Gardens and a meeting with Lillie in the library.  Kukui told me where to go to get to my electric trial so that I may continue my island challenge.  Lillie was looking for a book about legendary pokemon.  I guess that means that the mission concerning the art on the game's box is going to start to unfold.

While there, we met another side character (there are a lot in this game--between all the Aether workers, the Team Skull members, the captains, and kahunas, Kukui and Scientist Woman, the Kalos kids; it's a lot to keep track of.  This person helped us find the book that Lillie needed and then said that she's a princess and that the book was her dad's.

The story in the book was standard fare for a pokemon game.  As a matter of fact, there is always some sort of macguffin like this in the series.  In Diamond and Pearl, it was a statue inscription "blah blah blah poetry, blah blah blah, a pokemon that can control space/time."  In Black and White it was the legend "blah blah blah poetry, blah blah blah, two pokemon that stand for ideals and will."  In X and Y, it was the Geosenge tale told by the Professor Sycamore "blah blah blah poetry, blah blah blah, a pokemon that looks like an X/Y."  In this game, it was "blah blah blah poetry, blah blah blah, a pokemon that represents the moon."

Glad to see them breaking new ground in the narrative department.

My trial was south, so naturally I went north.  There I found a waste disposal and recycling plant as well as a side quest concerning the manager of the plant and his lackadaisical son.  My involvement in the plot was to defeat his Muk and his son's Grimer, but the resolution of the series of events was that the son was finally deemed worthy of taking over management of the plant.

So heartwarming.

But I guess that heartwarming is the name of the game here on this island: Let's all go to Ula'Ula Island!

Fucking. Nailed it.

/Dabs/

Current Squad:

Brionne/Pako Pako/lvl 26
Crabrawler/Ppunches/lvl 25
Salandit/Sassy Sally/lvl 25
Oricorio/Ori-chan/lvl 25
Steenee/Bouncee/lvl 25
Sylveon/Star Fighter/lvl 24

On Rotation:
Mareanie/Meanie/lvl 24
Trumbeak/Pip Pip/lvl 27
Misdreavus/Missy/lvl 24
Grimer/Sludj/lvl 25

Pokedex: 112 caught

Vs. ???

Ultra Beasts are supposed to be etherial pokemon from another dimension that find their way in our reality either through accident or deliberate invasion.  No one is exactly sure of what their motivation is, but the guardian deities seem to view them as a threat.

Hau took aside President Lusamine and told me to hold off the "vagina elemental from the other side".  A tall order, but one I was ready for: I've dealt with my fair share of vaginas in my day.

As if it were a totem pokemon, ??? started the match by boosting its defenses with an aura flare.  I sent in Trumbeak and tested it out with the flying move Pluck.  Pluck scored a weak hit and dealt little damage.

Ultra-beasts are supposed to be incomprehensible.  Normally, I would posit that the pokemon is some sort of Rock, Steel, or Electric type because of the ineffectiveness of "flying", but I couldn't be sure of this.  Do Ultra-beasts even follow the same rules as pokemon of this reality?  Is there even such a thing as Steel or Iron in their dimension?  Does the periodic table exist there as it does here? Lusamine mentioned that the pokemon looked as if it were in pain to even exist, however briefly, in this reality.

I had nothing to go on, but when ??? used Venoshock on my Trumbeak (scoring an easy knockout against my lead), I had to start making assumptions about the thing.  It might not be a true "Steel", "Rock", "Electric", or "Poison" type, but it knew poison moves and it resisted "pluck".  I went on the assumption that it was some sort of Steel/Poison, or alternatively put: it behaved in such a way that I should attack it with poison and fire.

Even if it would normally be immune to poisoning, Sassy Sally's ability is Corrosion.  Corrosion allows it to poison any pokemon, regardless of its immunities.  Sassy Sally's move "Smog" wasn't very effective, but it did succeed in poisoning my opponent before eventually being taken out by another Venoshock.

??? had an ability called "Beast Boost".  The ability raised its special defense each time it defeated one of my pokemon.  Attacking it directly was no longer an option.  I was being massacred, but at this point, I knew that I could win.  Meanie and Sludj both know Protect: I could just stall my opponent to death.

It must have sensed that its victory was no longer tenable, so ??? fled from battle at this point, vanishing in a flash and twist of bending and flexing space.


...and Lusamine was licking her lips with joy.

Totally the Good Guys, Definitelymaybe

Kahuna Olivia met me on the doorstep of the sanctum of her god Tapu Lele, the guardian deity of Akala Island.  It would be her rock types against my team of specially chosen rock-destroyers in the company of nature and the supreme ruler of the island.

Battle Team: Bulky Offensive

Vs. Kahuna Olivia

Of the battle itself, there is little to mention:  Ppunches' "Powerup Punches" made short work of her rocky team.

I suppose that I have learned two things: 1) just because the setting of a match is epic, it doesn't mean the battle will follow suit.  And 2) rock types suck suck suck suck suck suck suuuuuuck.

I received Rockium-Z and my Akala Island certification and Olivia sent me on my way.  There is a lot of weird sexualizing of Olivia specifically in this game--from her battle intro to the way she describes her fighting style.  This sort of thing wouldn't normally stick out for me in a game except for the fact that this is a Pokemon game and has a different sort of audience from, say, Tekken.
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I met a chap from the Aether foundation named Fab.  This fellow took Hau and I to the manmade floating island known as Aether Paradise.  This is apparently the main hub of the Aether Foundation--designed to give a safe haven to pokemon who are on the verge of endangerment.  He mentioned a facility there to take care of pokemon attacked by Team Skull and then he talked about a Pokeball design project in the lower levels.  He also mentioned, in a rather offhand way, that they were currently sending out a jamming signal so that our poke balls would not function on the island.

That line sort of stuck out to me.  It was quite the tour and it should have been a more positive sort of tour, but the dread started to sink in as soon as I noticed that this was the exact same facility as that shown at the start.  This means that this game has either already shown its hand and that the Aether Foundation is going to turn out to be the bad guys, or that Lillie, the office supply bandit, will.

At this point, we met the President of the Aether Foundation: Lusamine.  Lusamine sounds like the sort of vitamin that your weird auntie tells you you should take in order to stop age lines or regrow fingernails or something, but this Lusamine seems to be a nice lady who just wants to innocently "Bring all Pokemon into [her] love".

Was that diabolical laughter that I just heard?

Our schmoozing session was interrupted by an explosion from the lower levels.  Suddenly a portal opened near us and a jellyfish vagina monster emerged.

To Be Continued...

Current Squad:

Brionne/Pako Pako/lvl 25

Crabrawler/Ppunches/lvl 24

Salandit/Sassy Sally/lvl 23

Oricorio/Ori-Chan/lvl 23

Steenee/Bouncee/lvl 24

Sylveon/Sly/lvl 24

On Rotation:

Grimer/Sludj/lvl 24

Misdreavus/Missy/lvl 23

Trumbeak/Pip Pip/lvl 23

Mareanie/Meanie/lvl 24

Pokedex: 112 caught