The Beginning of "Pokemon Moon"

I've kind of always been of the opinion that if you're telling a story, you should start at the beginning.

Y'know...cause that's where the start is...

So here I am sitting with my pikachu coffee mug, my special Pokemon Blue Gamboy, Zappy the stuffed Minun, Rai Rai the stuffed Raichu, and all the Pikachus that I own (and I own many).
I light a candle and recline in my couch and boot up my game.  The way they cleverly mask the whole "what is your character's name" gag in this title is that they have it done vie filling out information for a passport.  Very clever, 'Moon.

Apparently your player character is moving to the Alola Region from Kanto (YAY!) and the Professor Kukui is "excited to welcome [you] and finally meet you in person".  If you were wondering, the Kukui tree is one name for the candlenut tree, the state tree of Hawaii.  Thanks, 'Moon, I learned something today!

Hard cut to somewhere I assume is in the upper levels of Abstergo Industries from Assassin's Creed (it's the harsh cleanliness and the white uniforms) where we see some lady with a big, dumb hat running away from a band of who are obviously the bad guys of this game (once again, it's the white uniforms).  The camera lingers a little too much on her tote bag, so that's obviously what they were chasing her about.  I mean, I would be quite cross too if one of my employees was stealing all our dry erase markers.

One of these dry erase markers (we couldn't quite see into the bag clearly) must have been a pokemon because it blinked at the camera.

So the Abstergo Illuminati-Rocket-Gang-of-the-week corners the "office-supplies (and maybe a pokemon) bandit", but little do they know that she's a magical girl and she teleports away in a flash of blue light.

"Three Months Later"
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Fuck you, game, start the story at the start of the story, not three months ago.  Don't waste my clitting time showing me scenes of things that I wouldn't understand and then jump ahead to the start of the tale.  I seriously hate films like this.

Start me at the start.  You're not increasing the tension.  You're not going to get me to care by showing me some random-ass scene where I don't understand what's going on nor what the stakes are.  Here's a thing happening...some other things happen...and now the start.

Great, so a thing happened three months ago...can I play now?