Side Commentary: If Pokemon Were Real...

The other day I was fortunate enough to catch the special series anime "Pokemon Origins" (you can probably find it online if you want, but out of respect for the material I won't provide a link myself).  This is a four-episode special that involves the journey of Red as he learns the ropes of the Pokemon world along his journey alongside his Charmander to become the League Champion.

It was very good--and it was also done in such a way that the source material was a little more believable--and of course this brought up the question that EVERYONE asks: What if Pokemon were real?  Or more accurately, what would be your pokemon squad if you were a real trainer?

Typically when kids answer this question, the obvious examples come up: Gyarados, Rhydon, Charizard, blah, blah, blah.  I feel that this is a little bit inaccurate--or rather--absolutely ridiculous.  Most average people can barely train a dog, much less a fighting animal.  The fact is that 90ish% (and this number is COMPLETELY fabricated, by the way) of people just fundamentally could not find either the time or the endurance to do this.  Even if they could, the idea that they could control something huge like a Gyarados or a Charizard or a Rhydon is furthermore ridiculous.

Imagine these things in real life.  Pretty freaking huge huh?  And scary?  You bet.  Now try showing these animals that YOU are the dominant one in the pair.  You've gotta be a pretty intimidating sonnuvabitch to stare down a Gyarados.

What about an Arbok?  Think you have the nerves to gain the respect and control of an 11-foot long snake?  Or even a 2-foot tall, 40 pound Raticate?

Another thing to note:  No Ghost Pokemon.  I have this feeling that if you started to hang-out with a Ghost pokemon, you will just end up getting increasingly depressed--and eventually just give up on your journey.  I view Ghosts to be like bringers of bad luck or like parasites that would feed on your suffering: just having one around would be a battle of endurance.

Furthermore, just look outside and see what kinds of creatures you see.  A lot of squirrels and bugs and birds, huh?  If pokemon were real, nearly all trainers' teams would include at least one Rattata, Pidgey, or Caterpie.

One more thing: If Pokemon were real, Eevee would be a trendy designer product for rich people.

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It's funny how when you give up on finding a pokemon, it always tends to show-up out of no where.  Right after I gave up on looking for Pikachu, I was able to find and capture one, which I named "PikaPi".

With a giant smile on my face, I made it to Santalune City, future site of my first gym battle.  Soon after entering, I found a guy who offered to trade his Farfetch'd for a Bunnelby. 

I've always had a strange affinity for Farfetch'd.  I mean, you've gotta love the swagger that the duck must have in order to carry around the leek stick that it will eventually be seasoned with before being eaten.  Kind of morbid in an oddly self-aware way.

After getting Pikachu and Farfetch'd, I decided that the night couldn't get any better, so I called it an evening.

Current Squad:

FROAKIE/Froakles/lvl.9
METAPOD/Felix/lvl.8
ZIGZAGOON/Ziggy/lvl.8
SCATTERBUG/Bubbsy/lvl.7
PIKACHU/PikaPi/lvl.5
FARFETCH'D/Quackin'/lvl.10