You Say You Want an Evolution

I met the Mega-Evolution Guru (who told me to call him Steve) and he was able to answer all of my questions about Mega-Evolution and then I thanked him and went home, having beaten the whole game..


That is what I would say if any of this actually happened.

But no, the Mega-Evolution Guru had about as much to say about Mega Evolution as the Black Belt with the Pokeflute, the Prince of Versailles, the Lost Paleontologist, and the Professor Sycamore: that is, to say, fuck all.  I am personally of the opinion that if you are formally known as the guru of anything, you should be an expert in that field--or at least be able to convince a little kid that you know what you're talking about.

Steve the Mega-Evolution Guru told me that neither he nor anyone else in the world has any knowledge at all about Mega Evolution, but that it involves items and a certain ring that he only had one copy of.

Then, when the gang of Pokemon thieves showed-up, he had me battle Serena (who I assume to be my rival considering she carries Chespin) for the Magic Mega-Evolution Ring.

The battle was a back-and-forth slog--her Meowstic and Absol each took out one pokemon apiece since they were severely leveled over my pokemon, and her Quilladin decimated the rest of my team as I tried desperately to chip away at it with Pikachu.

Apparently, and this I know for a fact was different in the last generation of games, grass types cannot be Leech Seeded, nor Poisoned with Poisonpowder, so in between flinching from Quilladin's repeated Bite and Needle-Arm attacks (eight consecutive turns, are you kidding me?!?), I was allowed to continuously "fail" with Ivysaur.  Since I had Flareon and Aerodactyl in the box at the time, the battle came down to Scrappy vs. Quilladin, and I breathed a sigh of relief when I finally broke Quilladin's killstreak.

After being rewarded with what is apparently one of the only Magic Rings in the game, I was told to challenge Korrina, the Mega-Evolution Guru's granddaughter, for a gym badge.  Funny, cause I already beat her...I guess that battle wasn't a formal challenge though...

Current Squad:

FROGADIER/Froakles/lvl.26
IVYSAUR/Ivy/lvl.25
FLAREON/Hotfoot/lvl.25
FLOETTE/Pixie/lvl.23
SCRAGGY/Scrappy/lvl.24
AERODACTYL/Scarydactyl/lvl.25

On Rotation: Pikachu, Hippopotas, Kirlia

Too Many Pokemon!

I previously noted that it is important to have a variety of pokemon available to catch and add to your team early and then to funnel in new pokemon in an even and consistent way--something that Ruby and Sapphire had a serious problem with--but this is just plain comical.

So I caught Snorlax (cause I always catch Snorlax), found the game's pokemon breeding center, went through a cave, Bulbasaur and Froakie both evolved (into Ivysaur and Frogadier, respectively), I found a town, found a second cave, and along the way I caught Seviper, Drifloon, Zubat, Axew, Croagunk, Onix, Sandile, Helioptile, Hippopotas, Lunatone, Solrock, Machop, Cubone, Inkay, Illumise, Ducklett, Spoink, Absol, Mienfoo, and Wingull.  Of these, I briefly had on my team: Seviper, Absol, Mienfoo, Machop, Cubone, Onix, Croagunk, Axew, and Helioptile. 

...And then I realized that I was going absolutely bonkers with all the new pokemon: I was like a fat school kid on Macaroni and Cheese day (something I have years of experience at, as a matter of fact). 

Ultimately, I decided to just leave it up to my little brother to pick for me: welcome to the team, Hippopotas.


I was originally sent to the last town to ask about Mega Evolutions, and the people there sent me on my way to Ambrette town.  When I got to Ambrette town, I found the professor I was looking for and he told me to go piss off and explore the aforementioned "second cave" (only accessible by riding on top of a Rhyhorn).  He must have had an important meeting...or perhaps he just didn't like the idea of some snot-nosed kid asking him about things he has never heard of JUST BECAUSE he is a scientist.  Because all scientists know all of science...right?   

Hint: wrong


Current Squad:

FROGADIER/Froakles/lvl.18
IVYSAUR/Ivy/lvl.18
SCRAGGY/Scrappy/lvl.18
FLABEBE/Pixie/lvl.17
PIKACHU/PikaPi/lvl.18
DODUO/Birdface/lvl.17

On Rotation: Hippopotas, Ralts

Not Leveling Up

Usually by now I have a Venusaur.

Let me explain--when I played Red version, my Ivysaur evolved after I battled Giovanni for the first time--before I fought Erika for my 4th badge...this is not a one-time thing, the idea of me not spending millions of hours leveling-up my pokemon before entering a new area is very new to me!

Currently I have six badges and Pignite is only level 34. Granted I'm almost there but I guess this says something about the way I'm playing this game now. I'm not grinding levels like a madman--and I'm constantly shuffling my team, which I guess is too much to say for Ash Ketchum...

Ash's Pikachu HAS to be level 500,000 by now considering how much he uses it. Now I have to ask this because nobody else is: how is he still losing battles? He has no right to be losing battles with a level 500,000 pokemon--even a Magikarp could one-hit KO any pokemon in existence if it was level 500,000--and not just KO--a level 500,000 Magikarp's Tackle would have to be about as powerful as an H-bomb (and would leave nice, adorable Magikarp-shaped holes in the victims)...


The TV show should be less about Ash's journey to get gym badges, and more about how entire towns and communities are destroyed in his wake as he scours the land looking for something else for his Pikachu to murder.

This is most likely why I'm struggling so much as well...but to be honest, the game is a lot more fun this way... I mean, sure its funny the first few times you 6-0 sweep an opponent's team with a level-100 Metapod, but at some point you need to start challenging yourself...

Current Squad: