Thursday, January 26, 2017

The Saddest Kahuna

Immediately after defeating Guzma (and washing my panties from Primarina's evolution), I was approached by the saddest police officer in the world.  I was sure that I had met him previously (after all, who could forget such a loathsome "slouch-elemental"), but I couldn't remember from where.  He introduced himself as Nanu, the police officer of Po Town.  Obviously, he's not that great at his job.  I can see why he acts so jaded and demoralized given how out of sorts the neighborhood is, but honestly he was even more of a buzzkill that the existential awakening that I had received by my trip to Po Town.

Wait, that's not true, he didn't introduce himself.  Acerola actually popped up out of the godamn ether to say some bullshit like "oh, if it isn't Nanu, my uncle, and the police officer of Po Town".

Please.

So I followed Acerola and apparently Acerola's uncle back to the Aether Outpost we had started from, but when we got there, Lillie was missing.  Via flashback, it was revealed that Plumeria had stormed the facility and kidnapped Lillie and her pokemon Cosmog without any resistance.  

I mean, Hau was there, but he's a useless piece of garbage.  He even admitted that he was too scared to intervene and that Lillie had resultantly decided to just go with them.  Do I have to do everything?

Gladion popped his angry little head in and attacked me in his rage...well, he attacked my pokemon...with his own pokemon...basically he battled me.

This time, he carried Type: Null, Golbat, and Sneasel: the perfect lineup for an angry kid.  The fact that two of those evolve due to friendship miiiiight be meaningful to the plot, but who cares, pokemon!!!

Gladion apologized for attacking and told us that we had to follow them and save Lillie (young love, so adorable).  Apparently, they would have taken her, not to Po Town, but to the Aether Paradise.

DUN DUN DUN!!

I mean, I guess that if all the foreshadowing hadn't given it away, all the vague maniacal laughter would have eventually.  It's not usually the good guys who threateningly smirk and promise to "bring all into their love".

As I made my way to the docks, Nanu approached me, said he was the Kahuna, and said that it was time to battle or whatever.

hahaha okay...?!

Battle Team G-3: The Ones I Had With Me at the Time
Vs. Kahuna Nanu, apparently

The battle itself was actually quite difficult.  I'm glad that he had set upon me so suddenly, because I may not have been able to win with only four pokemon.

Well, maybe I wouldn't go that far...

He led with Sableye.  Sableye is a Ghost/Dark type pokemon and I had already taken a Ghost trial, so I knew that a Dark Trial must be the theme for my third Grand Trial.  Then again, Nanu was just the kind of lazy Kahuna that miiiight say "screw it" and use whatever he had with him at the time.

I was able to damage his Sableye, but I have a history with Sableye and I know how bulky they can be.  This particular Sableye was no exception and it was able to wear down my Electabuzz.  Sable switched out for Krokorock (thank god you aren't Krookodile).  Yeah, dark type.

I predicted his ground move (earthquake) and switched in Trumbeak to avoid it.  It ended up mattering little because Krokorock punished my pokemon with Swagger and then Crunch.

It was Primarina's turn and I decided to take the opportunity to ensure a KO.  Krokorock went first, but Pako Pako is tough enough to survive anything (once) and retaliated with Z-Oceanic Operetta.

Primarina fell to Sableye (that Fakeout and its priority) and so did Sassy Sally.  Ultimately it fell to Sylveon to sweep the rest of his team, which included a Persian whose damage was completely neutralized by Sailor Star Fighter's fairy-type healing move "Draining Kiss".

2-0 Victory!

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