Escape from the Parfume Palace

The problem with the sidequests in Pokemon games is that they inevitably boil down to "find item X and rub it on slot Y" until the supporting characters tell you how smart you are.  Thus it is with my character and Shauna (the most insufferable of the Pokemon Thieves, whose only character trait is "being a girl"): sent to "find Pokeflute and rub it on Snorlax" until it wakes up.

Apparently, though, I had to find the king of the palace's poodle in the gardens first, so this quest went from annoying to infuriating real quick.

I found the dog and played the "Farfetch'd game" (to catch a trainer's pokemon by chasing it around) from Pokemon Silver version and found myself watching fireworks with Shauna.  I have no clue where these events fit in logically with one another, but rest assured that they were all mandatory and definitely related to my quest to catch all the pokemon.

At this point, Nintendo once again tried to shove its stupid characters in my face with its terrible, terrible writing by having Shauna say that she was really happy to watch the fireworks because "[she] has never watched fireworks alone with a boy before."

NO, I reject this.  I will not accept a crappy love story on top of your crappy regular story.  I have to go lie down.
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I sarcastically alluded to the fact that Pokemon White and Y are both terrible in terms of character development in a few previous posts and I want to clarify my feelings on this matter.  I recognize that the best Pokemon game of all time, Pokemon Red version, was similarly plagued by "disposable character syndrome". 

Want to know if your game has DispCharSynd? Try to describe your supporting cast in any way without describing their job or their physical features.  If your only description ends up being something like "has a dog", "likes to dance" or "closet homosexual", then your character is shallow and useless and if it were a marine in "Aliens", it would most certainly be one of the ones that are killed off early and easily.

The thing is that Red version ALSO didn't have a real plot.  This was a game written back in the days where the entire story was told in the booklet that comes with the game--and the rest is made up by the player.  White Version and Y version, however, are given considerably less slack in the story and character-development areas of the game simply because they TRY too hard in these areas.  If White version took some time off pushing its hamfisted message of Pokemon suffrage into your face every 5 seconds and instead focused on letting you, the player, run the story, it could have gotten away with having odious and inconsequential characters, but since it spent so much time banging-on about its plot, the cast members were too easily exposed for the cardboard cutouts that they were.  The result is that you have presented a roller coaster and populated the entire thing with cardboard cutouts of "Winnie the Pooh".  Not necessarily a bad ride, but perhaps a little distracting and you have the constant feeling of shame and indigestion.

Exploring *cough* Totally Not Versailles *cough*

I remember reading something in passing a few months ago about how Pokemon Y's "Kalos region" is based loosely on France in the same way that Pokemon White is based loosely on the Unites States (namely New York).  This is the kind of thing that you forget about until it starts to stick out, and then it becomes all you think about and it changes your perception of the game.


Just two weeks ago, I came back from a brief excursion to France to attend the wedding of one of my sweetheart's cousins (note apostrophe placement).  I say this because realizing that I am playing a game about a place that I have visited in real life must be up in the top ten most disorienting things I have ever done (of course, right behind staying up for an entire week and also behind eating 7 McDonald's double cheeseburgers).

So here is the "Parfume Palace", a nearly exact copy of the Castle Versailles if the Castle Versailles was made of cartoons.

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I was sent here to recover the PokeFlute to wake up a Snorlax who fell asleep on the road.  I guess this means that Pokemon X and Y are definitely going to stay true to established "Pokemon lore"

I have the strange feeling that Snorlax don't exist in the wild as animals.  Rather, they exist as features of the terrain in any given area.  Every road in the pokemon world most likely has some statistical likelihood that they will, at any given moment, grow a Snorlax out of the ground in order to become blocked.  Maybe the cement they use contains some weird mineral called "Snorlaxium" or something and here is where my digression really starts to fall apart.

After arriving at the Parfume Palace and exploring every room of the Parfume Palace and playing around in the hedge gardens of the Parfume Palace I realized that I hadn't done any actual pokemon battling in over a quarter of an hour.  Usually this is no big deal but I am of the opinion that if you're playing Pokemon and more than 20 minutes go by without fighting any pokemon then you're officially doing it wrong, so I left and started exploring the surrounding grasslands where I caught Sentret, Oddish, Kecleon, and Gulpin in order to remind myself that I was playing a game and not something that could be confused for a game like a dishwasher. 

Normally I would take-up Sentret immediately over Zigzagoon for my team (since it's another favorite of mine) but I am really only keeping Ziggy for the free items I get from his ability "Pick-Up" at the moment.

Current team:

FROAKIE/Froakles/lvl.15
BULBASAUR/Bulby/lvl.15
SCRAGGY/Scrappy/lvl.15
FLABEBE/Pixie/lvl.13
PIKACHU/PikaPi/lvl.16
DODUO/Birdface/lvl.15

On Rotation: Ralts, Pickup...erhm...Zigzagoon