Zekrom No Findings Please, Cannot Finding Zekrom

In a shocking twist, it turns out that Zekrom suffers from "princess is in another castle" syndrome as the journey through the Relic Caslte was a colossal waste of time--he was not there. At this point, it is obvious that no one in the entire universe has any clue what is going on--and Team Plasma's success in awakening Reshiram HAS to be attributed to blind luck...honestly: they were probably trying to do something completely unrelated (because who would want Reshiram? Its ugly at best) and just played it off as being part of their plans all along. I'm reminded of Team Plasma's mission to steal the Dragonite skull from the museum (a million gyms ago) and how fruitful that turned out for them... So the "Zekrom or Lack-Thereof Award" goes tooooo the Relic Castle! Congratulations and thank you for wasting my time!

However, the trip DID reveal a few things about Alder--apparently he's more of a washed-up champion than a legitimate somebody. The Plasma sage named Ghestis (another one of those characters who the art directors started drawing and just never stopped), the guy with the laser-eyepiece from the opening video, revealed that after Alder became the most powerful trainer in the world, his favorite pokemon got sick and died and he hasn't battled since. Honestly I like this turn of events--it brings some much-needed drama to the scene--and also it hints of some kind of back story besides the expected "I worked real hard to train the pokemons and I made it".

Ghestis said that the "dark stone", the dormant Zekrom, was not there, but that we definitely need it in order to defeat N. At this point, Alder muttered something about not liking it that we had to play into Team Plasma's plans in order to defeat them. This was quite the shock to me because we were already doing just that by coming to the Relic Castle to awaken Zekrom just like N asked us to not an hour earlier. I'm not asking for much, but a little consistency from moment to moment would be nice.

After leaving the castle, I was immediately called to the museum in Nacrene City. There, Gymleader Lenora (the normal-typed gymleader) presented me with the very item I had been scouring the Relic Castle for.

I'm not sure why Nintendo figured that they should withhold that item from me for an extra 3 minutes. I mean, nothing else happened between me not having the dark stone in the Relic Castle and me getting it in Nacrene City...except I had to withdraw Deedoon to allow me to FLY there. Was it really necessary to do this?

The way it was presented it seemed like they just happened to find this incredibly important item just lying around somewhere--like they found this "dark stone" at a flea market. So many of the events in this game just seem to be lucky breaks, this is completely ridiculous!

So after finally finding the dark stone, and a lengthy conversation with everyone involved (whom I have nicknamed Team Pup-in-Suds to counter Team Plasma) the pimp of the year basically says, "so...now what?"

My thoughts exactly...

Current Squad:

Consecutive Wild Goose-Chases

I don't know if its just the writers for Pokemon games or Nintendo that think that their audience is made up of pillocks who are too dumb to pick up on certain themes unless they are repeatedly hammered-into their heads.

As soon as I arrived in Mistralton City, I was greeted by the crocodile hunter and some teenage girl he was escorting. He starts his conversation by noting how important it is for people (and pokemon) to be together and to have different opinions. Quite literally 40 steps before this conversation I was at the end of chargestone cave, where I battled N and had another long, excruciating talk with Professor Juniper about this exact same subject. I don't know what it is--maybe its just the fact that our culture in general has lost its attention to detail and thriftiness to the point that we NEED this kind of repetition because otherwise we'll be distracted by a nearby shiny object or passing butterfly and our focus will be lost forever.

Aaaaaanyhoodle...

The before-mentioned crocodile hunter is Prof. Juniper's dad who is apparently a pimp because the teenager was the local gym leader "Skyla" who is a pilot and obviously a flying pokemon trainer. Because nothing can come easy anymore she says she urgently needs my help on route 7's "Celestial Tower" because while flying her plane and certainly not paying attention to the whole "landing" thing, she saw an injured pokemon at the top and rather than let nature take its course, it was our job to meddle.

So, after meddling my way up to the top of "Totally-not-a-rip-off-of-pokemon-tower-from-red-version-at-all Tower" and catching Elgyem and Litwick on the way, I once again met up with Skyla who tells me that she was right, she DID see an injured pokemon, but that she already helped it and it left. Thank god too because I was really hoping to be sent on a pointless errand in the first place--and to have it ripped out from under me at the last second anyways is really just icing on the cake.

Yamask evolved into Cofagrigus who is really cool and all, but in the interest of science I adopted Elgyem instead to see what he evolves into.

Because flying gyms are always huge disappointments, I tried continuing into the next cave, Twist Mountain (which is probably followed by "Boogie Bay" and "Electric Slide Highway"), but was stopped by a guard at the entrance who said I needed the "jet badge" in order to enter--which is total bull because he let a group of hot girls in right after me cause they were "on the list". I don't know who hired a bouncer to guard a cave, but I decided to just let him do his job.

Originally, I was prepared to write one of those "Flying gyms are almost as bad as Normal gyms" blogposts, but I actually lost my first attempt against Skyla because I was being careless and her Swanna was acting like a jerk healing itself. My second attempt went off without a hitch when I realized Elgyem's Hidden power type was "Electric". Her Swoobat, Swanna, and Unfezant were handled easily. So I guess this was my second "goose chase" (this is a fowl sense of humor I have here)!

Current Squad: